Monday, June 15, 2009

Funny to Me

I'm always fascinated with bizarre things in World of Warcraft. Maybe fascinated is the wrong word. I find certain mundane aspects of WoW, just like real life, hysterically funny. And while I know that it is probably only funny to me or drunks who laugh at anything, I seize upon some tiny aspect of the game, and just kill the "joke" into the ground.

For example, I ask trade chat on my server "what on earth do oozes spend gold on?" about once every three months to see if the responses change. And I phrase it just like that because I know, I KNOW, someone will reply "don't you mean Azeroth?" It's an eerie conditioned response, along with the "lol" that always follows from someone else:

Me: What on earth do oozes spend gold on?
Smart Guy #1: don't u mean Azeroth?
Moron #1: lol

I doubt Moron #1 is really laughing out loud. A lot of people are like this in the gaming world and online in general. They will type "lol" or "lmao" when they are just "ma," which is mildly amused. I personally use "ma" or "nt" (nice try) unless I am actually laughing because I don't like to misrepresent myself. If one of these psychos starts to think I think they are funny they might be encouraged to continue the "humour" to me in a series of whispers that earns them ignore status. And I'd rather not have to do that if possible. Really, I'm a people person at heart.

Well, this past weekend I asked the question again. And some of the responses actually did make me laugh out loud, especially the first response, which was not (for once) the classic "don't u mean Azeroth" Pavlovian response, the first response was "cigarettes."

Now, just the thought of a green ooze oozing his way up to a newspaper stand or convenience store for a pack of smokes and having the merchant put his hand into the ooze's body to get the money that is just free-floating there in the gelatinous mess makes me laugh. Nevermind picturing the ooze with a cigarette in its mouth having a moment of quiet contemplation near whatever swamp or ruins it is inhabiting, perhaps reflecting on a life they thought would turn out differently. Perhaps working up the courage to ask the boss ooze for the afternoon off because it is his birthday after all and some free time would really help him come back refreshed for more terrorizing of adventurers.

Well, that fantastic "cigarettes" reply was quickly followed by the brilliant barb "your mother." For some reason I imagine the person who typed that was either an over-compensating American from the east coast/New England area, or a chav from Liverpool or Bulwell. I can't fault them. In my younger days I might type the same thing. The "your mother" response was followed by a few obligatory "lol"'s, but again I seriously doubt the heartiness of the laughter.

Past that a few gems:

your cousin
board games
chewing gum
concert tickets
organic milk

I like "your cousin" especially well because of those insufferable bullshit artists known as "one-uppers." You know the type... you say you leveled your toon 1-80 in 8 days of game time, someone will instantly reply that their cousin did it in 5 days flat. You finally PUG your first Warsong Gulch victory after 50 tries and they comment that their cousin wins that battleground every time, topping the damage AND healing charts along the way. You grind away at dailies to outfit your new 80 with some BoE purples and their cousin got the world first for completing Ulduar (on the PTR, of course).

Unrelated but nevertheless disturbing is Applebough, the fruit vendor in Dalaran who happens to be a tree. That he sells "fresh apple juice" is pretty disgusting. The thought of him selling his own fruit crosses a moral line for me. Not quite into the category of selling one's children, but darn close. That said though, if I were Applebough and had already crossed the line I wouldn't stop with just juice or apples. Why not sell pie crusts, apple seeds, apple cider & apple cider donuts, apple cobbler, etc. and expand the profile? Become known as "the apple guy." Might bring in some more customers.

Any strange in-game happenings that strike you as funny? Let me know!


  1. I did actually 'lol' at the Applebough thing. Never thought about that :D

  2. Caretaker Alen in Eastern Plaguelands (@79,63) - I went afk near him back in vanilla WoW and laughed my ass off (yes, some exaggeration, but I think it was enough to burn a few calories so it counts) when I saw what my chat log had in store for me.

    For spoilers, you can look at the "quotes" section of his wowwiki article if you don't feel like flying out to EPL: